Hey, Those Tourists Took My Chips

Helen encouraged me to hit the Strip and play a little poker with the weekend tourists, so by 9:30 I was pulling into Bally's parking deck.

I did a power walk directly from Bally's to the Imperial Palace poker room where they had two tables of $1-2 No Limit going. The IP room is not really a room at all, just a corner of the casino separated from the rest of the action by a 3-foot railing. It's also a little shabby - a couple of the tables seem to wobble when someone leans on them and the chairs are standard style with little padding. The chip slot where the dealer places the house's drop kept jamming on our table, requiring the floor person to come over every hour or so with a screwdriver to unjam the drop.

Despite all this, I like the place. The dealers and managers are friendly and the players are usually beginners or moderately experienced. Very few sharks swim in the waters of the IP. They hang at bigger houses like Venetian, Caesars Palace, MGM or Wynn.

Also, the IP provides free cookies for the players. They constantly restock a platter full of chocolate chips, oatmeal raisin and macadamia cookies. I had two and a coffee for lunch.

Anyway, I bought in for $100 and took the #1 seat, to the left of the dealer. It's not my favorite because it's sometimes hard to see the players in the 9 and 10 seats at the other end of the table.

This whole session can be defined by three HUGE hands - one I should have played, one I should NOT have played and one I did play.

About 4-5 hands after sitting down, I looked down at 8-8 and raised the pot $10. Four guys called. The flop came J-10-4 and one of the guys bet $60 into the pot of about $75. I thought about calling, but with the two over cards, I didn't want to put in most of my stack and folded. One guy called the raise. Eventually these two kept betting and the pot grew to just over $500. When they showed their hands, one guy had A-K of spades and missed his flush. The other had pocket 7-7...I folded the highest hand!!! If I had stayed, I would not have won $500 because the two finalists each put in $100 on the river, but it would have been around $300-350, if I had gone all-in.

A couple hours later, I had a stack of about $80 and was dealt K-Q of spades. I called a $6 bet and saw the flop come K-K-7...SWEET. So I bet $15 and was raised to $40 by a cowboy-hat-wearing-guy to my immediate left. I went ALL-IN shoving my remaining $65 into the pot. He called and since it was just the two of us, we showed our cards. I flipped over my K-Q, giving me 3 Kings and he showed his pocket 7-7 - giving him a FULL HOUSE...Since the turn and river didn't hit my Q, I lost....AAARGH.

I could have walked, but I decided to rebuy for another $100.

My plan was to play until about 4:30, then head home. About 4 p.m., my stack was about $85 and I was hoping to hit one good hand before leaving. Many of the pots in this game were over $100, so I still had hopes of breaking even for the day. It would only take one or two big pots to make me a winner.

I looked down at my Q-10 and decided to call a $6 bet. The flop came J-9-8...I FLOPPED A STRAIGHT. So now my strategy was to build as big a pot as possible. A guy bet $10 and I was the only one to call. River was a 3...no help there for him, I figured. But the guy shoved his whole stack in - About $70. I immediately called.

He flipped over a 10-7...we both flopped a straight, but mine was Q-high to his J-high. The dealer shoved the chips my way and the guy got so mad he launched an F-bomb and stomped out of the poker room...About 30 seconds later, he sheepishly returned to snatch his near-full Heineken and stomped out again. Classy, huh...

That was the last hand I played. I got back most of the chips I lost early, but still walked away a $42 loser.

Something strange happened as I walked from the IP to the car at Bally's. Entering Bally's you take an escalator that delivers you down one story from the casino's elevated moving walkway. As I stepped on the escalator, I looked down at a security guard who had a bushy Wilfred Brimley mustache and a beer paunch. He was glaring at someone on the escalator - me.

"Sir, you need to step over here to the side," he said as I exited the escalator.

"Why?"

"We believe you were just trespassing at the Flamingo."

"I wasn't even at the Flamingo, I just left the Imperial Palace poker room."

At this point, Big-Bellied Barney Fife talks into his walkie talkie on his shoulder, telling someone that I claim to have not been at the Flamingo.

"Are you a guest here," he asked me.

"No, I'm a local and I'm trying to get home to have dinner with my wife."

"OK, you can go."

"Thanks. And I accept your apology," I said as sarcastically as possible.

"Oh, yeah, Sorry."

Later, I thought I should have let him rough me up a bit, then slap Bally's with a lawsuit. Maybe I could have gotten a few thousand in a settlement. Helen didn't think this was a good idea and would have gotten me banned from Bally's - one of my favorite places to play. She's probably right...

So then I drove home where Helen was on the phone with her friend Gail, who's coming to visit on Feb. 16. They're planning 3 days of shopping, lunching and girly fun.

For dinner, I whipped up some hefty salads of romaine lettuce, roma tomatoes, corn, black beans, salsa and grated cheddar cheese. Then we chilled out watching "Monk" and munching on some popcorn...ah, life in the Vegas Fast Lane...

But today, the adventure continues...